1. Pitchfork.

Pitchfork, the ultimate website to namedrop. If Pitchfork says something’s cool, it’s cool, but the opposite is also true. Pitchfork is so influential that after they gave Travis Morrison’s (former Dismemberment Plan frontman) Travistan album a review of 0.0, sales dropped and it was virtually blacklisted by college radio.

How to use this in conversation: “Hey, have you heard the reissue of Serge Gainsbourg’s Histoire de Melody Nelson? Pitchfork gave it a 10.0, it’s arguably the French master’s best work.”

2. LOOKBOOK

LOOKBOOK is the perfect website to use to find ideas and inspiration for style. So elite that it’s invite-only, access can be gained by applying but previous interest in fashion has to be stated. Individual style is prized, but of course there’s an edge of irony in the similarities between all the photos.

How to use this in conversation: “Yes, I saw something similar on LOOKBOOK but of course I chose to put my own edge to it. I found this shirt at a thrift store, actually.”

3. Last Night’s Party
Welcome to New York City’s hottest underground parties. Anyone who’s anyone in the scene can be spotted in these photos, from rock stars to drag queens. Edgy and hedonistic, the mastermind behind this has been quoted as saying he thinks photography is “more rock & roll than rock & roll.”

How to use this in conversation: “I was hanging out with Leighton Meester last night, the photos might be up on Last Night’s Party by now.”

4. Cobra Snake
The website that shot “club urchin” Cory Kennedy to fame, Mark Hunter’s blog has photos of the underground LA scene and documents both underground LA parties and the high fashion scene. Now also with a store, Cobra Snake has that je ne sais quoi that’s so hard to pin down.

How to use this in conversation: “Mark Hunter was talking to me, we’re going to a party that he’s going to feature on Cobra Snake tomorrow.”

5. Urban Outfitters
Not just a clothes website, Urban Outfitters is the ultimate in clothes that look like you haven’t tried, when really you’ve spent upwards of £50+ just on a skirt. Expensive, but perfect for all the hipsters who live off their parents’ bank accounts.

How to use this in conversation: You don’t. It’s way too mainstream.

6. Free Williamsburg
Because all the true hipsters live in Williamsburg, this is essential reading. This website calls itself ‘The Williamsburg Brooklyn Culture Guide’ and has up to date information about all the latest goings on in Brooklyn. Specifically free ones, and ones which are just way too underground for anyone to find — unless they’re connected to the scene, of course. The perfect way to eradicate all the mere commoners who, y’know, just wouldn’t get it.

How to use this in conversation: “Oh, my Hipster Grifter tshirt? Yeah, they linked to it on the Free Williamsburg site.” (Warning: shirt should only be worn ironically.)

7. Viceland

Viceland came up with the “Dos and Don’ts” feature, basically posting candid photos of people from the street and either mocking their fashion or admiring it. Both sardonic and ironic, Vice focuses on debauchery — mainly sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. A hipster’s wet dream.

How to use this in conversation: “I saw someone with those shoes in Vice Magazine the other day. Of course, they were under the ‘Don’t’ section.”

8. Salon.com
Because how are you going to be superior to everyone else in casual conversation if you’re not keeping up with current affairs? And Salon.com is the perfect way to do that. Not only is there coverage of the US politics (of course, it’s very Liberal-skewed) but there are also reviews of film and music (if you didn’t get your music fill from Pitchfork already).

How to use this in conversation: “Oh, you’re talking about the Bush administration? Did you hear that Wolfowitz said GTMO should use more aggressive interrogation techniques?”

9. Brooklyn Vegan
We’ve already discussed how any hipster worth their Pabst Blue Ribbon lives in Brooklyn, and of course veganism is a required trait. But this blog is written by a brooklyn vegan, not necessarily for them. Instead, they’re a “mostly-music blog” centring on everything going on in good old NYC.

How to use this in conversation: “I plan on going to the Hoboken Springs Arts & Music Festival — according to Brooklyn Vegan, there’s a pretty rad line-up.”

10. Scissorkick
Yet another music blog, but you can never be a hipster if you can’t reel off at least ten bands that no one’s ever heard of, making the music websites into required reading. And Scissorkick is one of the least well-known and, therefore, one of the best.

How to use this in conversation: Don’t mention Scissorkick! Let people just think you naturally know about these bands.

As of this week, I have surpassed a year’s worth of retardation and have been able to get in a car without anyone else besides me telling me I’m not doing it right. Despite passing my driving test in December, I never actually got around to driving until now. In my brief time driving a car, I have noticed a few things. The most prevalent of these is how much of a shit people give about what music you’re playing. Whether it’s your sister telling you that Alkaline Trio suck and that you should be listening to Sam Sparro instead or some guy rolling down his windows and pounding drum and bass in your face, what you listen to when you drive seems to be a big deal. Personally, I’m happy with any background noise (except Radio 1 because I dislike most of their DJs with a passion) but to fit in with this strange order, I guess I’m going to have to choose some songs. So, here’s my top ten ‘alternative’ cruising anthems, because like hell I’m going to choose Chipmunk or whatever the kids listen to these days.

10) Blink 182 – The Rock Show
Simply because you have to. It’s Blink, for goodness’ sake! They drive around in a van and do crazy shit in the video for this song and you should too. In your van. Or Ford Fiesta, whatever.

9) The Secret Handshake – Summer of 98
I generally just love this band, but this is ultimate feel-good ‘this is summer’ music. This deserves to be played in a convertible – hood down, wind blowing through your hair, played loud for everyone to join in. Or in the VW camper van I’m supposed to be able to drive this summer when it’s finished. I can totally see this played cruising down the Cornish coastline with a surfboard on top of the van. Plus, it’s got just enough electronics in it for you not to be yelled at by chavs.

8) abingdon boys school – INNOCENT SORROW
Oh, abingdon boys school. You drive me mad in your school uniform stage outfits. Takanori in a tie and glasses? Hot damn. But ignoring that, you have yourself some fine J-rock. It changes it up a fair bit throughout the song, but not enough to put you off what you’re doing. Instead, it’s got this force behind it, almost like some kind of determination; a push to get you to the finish. Also, wouldn’t it be wonderful to see a bunch of confused kids when they can hear nothing but Japanese and the occasional English word through the sunroof?

7) FrankMusic – When You’re Around
I guess that this one is the most conventional on my list, being from an actual popular artist. However, it’s the Golden Brown sample that does it for me – it just sounds cool. And the chorus? Those sweeping synth notes just sound divine. It’s all about dashing through the city with this one. Despite being a bit more conventional than the rest of my choices, it’s one of the most individual tracks on the album and definitely not a club favourite. Although it should be. And I should be rushing through Tokyo with this on.

6) The Special Goodness – Life Goes By
Had to dig out the old Punk-O-Rama 9 for this one (and holy shit, I do miss that series so much). Anyway, ‘Life Goes By’ was the first song I heard from Patrick Wilson’s (of Weezer fame) outfit and it still remains one of their best songs for me. Pat has a fantastic voice and the melodies are perfect for cruising on by. I guess life does go by too fast, so stick on these guys and slow the drive down a bit, at least.

5) Off With Their Heads – Until The Day…
I’ve been listening to ‘From The Bottom’ as I’ve been driving around over the past few days and it just makes me smile. It makes me smile when there are assholes on the road. It makes me smile when I’m stuck in a traffic jam because there’s roadworks. And it makes me happy that my sister pulls a face at it. In particular, ‘Until The Day…’ has these great chugging guitars and a sweet intro riff that just fill me with joy. Best served whilst driving with friends, because it’s all about the camaraderie.

4) The Gaslight Anthem – Meet Me By The River’s Edge
Possibly one of my favourite Gaslight songs anyway, this is perfect for night drives. Not too heavy, not too energetic, but soothing and generally comforting. It would sound so good on an empty road. In general, blasting Gaslight is to be recommended in order to show people how awesome they are, but this song is just incredible. Hell, listen to it anyway. Right now.

3) Run DMC – It’s Tricky
Okay, I guess this is actually the most conventional on the list, but Run DMC are just… well, you know what word I’m going to use next. This might actually get you some props on the road, but you never know these days. Hip-hop seems to be the music of choice for driving around, but it’s always that new fangled stuff because people forget that the classics are the best and ‘It’s Tricky’ is no exception! Be warned – you might start busting some moves at the wheel.

2) Big D And The Kids Table – If We Want To
One of the slower Big D songs on ‘How It Goes’ – at least, to begin with. It reminds me of the summer and how we’ve got all the time in the world as soon as the summer holidays kick in. Laidback, chilled out, perfect singalong material. And the bitching guitar solo in the middle just can’t be resisted. I’d sooner hear that than a terrible British rapper.

1) Andrew WK – Party Hard
I know that this statement is possibly controversial, but I’m going to say it anyway – ‘Party Hard’ is a modern day ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Hear me out, alright? We all know ‘Wayne’s World’. We all know the scene where they’re in the car and they’re singing along to Bohemian Rhapsody, headbanging down the street. Now, replace Queen with Andrew WK. No difference and equally as awesome. It’s got the piano (although nowhere near as intricate, but it serves a purpose), it’s got some awesome guitar and well… it’s got Andrew WK, and I’m sorry, but Andrew will always have a place in my heart that Freddie won’t. I am definitely looking forwards to my friends rocking to this in the back seat at some point in the near future.

The truth is, comic books were written to be made into movies. You’ve got all that action and explosions, larger than life characters with boobs larger than your head and spandex outfits that stylists merely dream of! Oh, and some really cool stories too. In recent years, we’ve been inundated with comic book adaptations, because directors must see them as some magical pre-made storyboards of awesome. Some of these adaptations have been… well, goddamn awful, but there have been some wonderful little nuggets of gold inside that steaming crap pile that is the comic book movie genre. So sit back, relax and enjoy TBO’s definitive list of comic book adaptations that didn’t suck balls.

10) X-Men
‘But Ripper’, I hear you cry. ‘X-Men was a farce!’ Well, ladies and gentlemen, I believe you’re referring to the third in the trilogy where Jean Grey went annoyingly evil, Wolverine turned into a love sick puppy and Rogue whined more than usual. This movie is definitely not that movie. In this one Rogue’s still whiny and is the whole driving purpose behind the movie, but the purpose of this story is the battle between Xavier, who believes humans and mutants can live in peace, and Magneto, who is preparing for all out war against the humans, and that’s what the X-Men trilogy is all about. The X-Men featured in this movie are all the classics, and there are some spectacular mutant powers to feast your eyes on. Don’t neglect this film based on the atrocious ‘X-3 – The Last Stand’, but owe it to yourself to check out the first of what was to be a fairly promising trilogy.

9) V For Vendetta
V For Vendetta is one of Alan Moore’s most well known comics, telling the dark tale of a dystopian society in which their only hope for the future is a man in a Guy Fawkes mask. No, seriously. V does some pretty incredible things, but that’s not why this movie is excellent. This is one of the best precautionary tales in a long time, and the tale of V’s struggle to survive and become the anarchic revolutionary that he becomes is heartbreaking. This is not one of your all out action movies, but something to think about. Admittedly, it does not contain some of the more hard hitting parts of the comic, and the context has been completely changed to fit our modern political climate. This is a shame, but the ending scene is so inspiring that this doesn’t seem to matter as much. Also, Stephen Fry is in it.

8) Sin City
Sin City was just made to be adapted into a movie. The graphic novel series was done in a film noir style, which transferred spectacularly onto the big screen. It focuses on three stories from the graphic novel – one about prostitutes, one about a paedophile serial killer and one about vengeance. Nice. According to Robert Rodriguez, the movie is a translation, not an adaptation, which is a very accurate thing to say, considering a lot of direction was done by the comic’s creator, Frank Miller. This film has it all – sex, violence and creepy yellow guys.

7) From Hell
Another Alan Moore adaptation, From Hell is the tale of Jack The Ripper and one man’s quest to find him. It’s quite different from the graphic novel – in the graphic novel, we know instantly who Jack is and Abberline isn’t quite the gorgeous young opium addict detective we come to see on screen. However, this doesn’t stop it from being an awesome film. Blood, guts and Johnny Depp is all you need for two hours of mystery and an incredibly scary Ian Holm. Even scarier than when Gandalf took the ring off him.

6) The Crow
Is it just me or are great comic book movies set in cities ruled by scum? The Crow is a shining example of this. Whilst it’s notorious for being the death of Brandon Lee, it deserves to be seen as a great film in its own right, showing us that love can conquer all. And eventually destroy every bastard that raped and killed it. Brandon Lee is the charismatic and immortal Eric Draven, who inflicts horrible bloody vengeance on the gangsters that killed his fiancée – and looks fantastic whilst doing it. If you want blood, sexy goths and incest (watch it and you’ll see what I mean), this movie is for you. Not to mention, it has the best soundtrack for a film ever.

5) 300
Ah, 300. Homoerotic or not, this film is manly. Much like his approach with Watchmen, Zack Snyder intended to make a film as close to the graphic novel as possible (although I’ve not read it yet, I’ve heard it is so) and does so wonderfully with the visual feast that is 300. No matter how much you want to deny it, you know you love seeing extremely buff men in tiny red shorts deliver some pain upon Persian troops. 300 is such an epic story, based on the battle of Thermopylae, which is potentially the most amazing feat in history. And you can see it all with shirtless Gerard Butler!

4) Watchmen
You knew it was coming! Watchmen, the latest release from director Zack Snyder, is the adaptation of Alan Moore’s award winning graphic novel. I know, another Alan Moore film, but if there is only one movie you see this year, make sure it’s this one. Sure, it’s almost three hours long, but it is a faithful representation of the legendary comic, with some of the best fight scenes I’ve ever witnessed. There are scenes that you can pick straight out of the comic book, which is impossible to say about most comic book movies. The casting is perfect, particularly Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s portrayal of the Comedian, and I can guarantee that anyone who walks into a screening of Watchmen will fall in love with Rorschach. Absolutely fantastic.

3) Hellboy
Hellboy is one of the greatest comic book characters of all time. He’s loud, he’s brash, he likes cats and uses big guns. And he’s a demon from another plane. And is best friends with an amphibian. And is in love with a pyrokinetic. Basically, everything you could ever dream of happens in Hellboy. The movie is based on the Seeds Of Destruction arc, the first Hellboy story. Essentially, Hellboy has to save the world from destruction by Nazis who either retained eternal youth, were resummoned from the void or kept alive by clockwork. Yeah, weird. However, highly enjoyable. It’s a fun film, and is in keeping with the larger than life theme that comic book movies sometimes miss.

2) The Dark Knight
This one was also pretty obvious. The Dark Knight is the most successful comic book movie ever made, and why? Well, Heath Ledger unfortunately passed away before it was released, but not because of that. It was because he was so incredible as the Joker. That was pushing the boundaries of the villain to the limit. The Joker has always been the most interesting and unpredictable of the Batman villains, and it was fantastic to see him brought to life in a manner deserving of his legacy (sorry, Jack Nicholson!). Plus, Christian Bale was in it. And he is the goddamned Batman. This film was perfect for so many reasons – the special effects, the score, the true comic book feeling.

1) Iron Man
It’s no secret that I’m a huge Iron Man fan, having it virtually indoctrinated into me by my Iron Man obsessed boyfriend. Tony Stark is an asshole, pure and simple. But he’s an asshole that wants to save the world! It might be terrorists and not communists in the movie, but still, Iron Man is there to protect the American public and dammit, he’ll do it in gold and red, firing repulsor blasts as he goes. But I have respect for Iron Man because he is so flawed. The movie doesn’t deal with Tony Stark’s eventual alcoholism, but it has a much more human quality than any of the other films on this list. You feel so much for Stark when he’s captured in the Middle East, when he’s betrayed, when he’s on the verge of death. There is no other comic book character that is as intriguing and intelligent as Tony Stark, but this film would not have been anything without Robert Downey Jr, who I maintain is the only person who could have played Iron Man. He perfectly portrays Stark’s charisma, charm and assholishness whilst showing us his vulnerable side as well. If you’ve never seen any of the films on this list, watch this one, because I guarantee, you’ll be in for a ride.

I just don’t know what it is about men in punk rock and fantastic beards, but if we were to draw a graph of it, I bet that there would be a strong correlation with how much more punk rock the musician was and how awesome the beard was. So, with this thought in mind, I give you the top 10 facial hair of men who are pretty damn punk rock.

(and I apologise for the crappy photo editing)

10) Hunter Burgan [AFI]

Hunter Burgan never has the full on beardiness as some of the other men on this list, but his stubble has won the hearts of AFI fans all over the world. Not to mention, that 5 o’clock shadow just makes you look cool. Best worn with lots of black, as demonstrated in the Miss Murder video.

Beard in action:

9) Chuck Ragan [Hot Water Music]

Chuck Ragan of Hot Water Music has always been most excellent, either fronting the awesome aforementioned band or playing around with his equally awesome solo project. The man can also grow a sweet beard. Before this turns into a total fangirl fest, I’ll provide evidence of beard.

Beard in action:

8) Dan Andriano [Alkaline Trio]

I bet you didn’t know that Dan Andriano has dabbled in facial hair. It’s not such a well known fact, considering he is clean shaven in every Alkaline Trio video I’ve ever seen, but believe it or not, it’s really there. See for yourself!

Beard in action:

7) Chris McCaughan [The Lawrence Arms, Sundowner]

Essentially, I was just going to post a picture of The Lawrence Arms with their painted on moustaches, because that is always awesome, but upon my Google search, I found a picture of Chris by himself for Sundowner promotion reasons. I was so struck by amazement that Chris’s facial fuzz is now our number seven.

Beard in action:

6) Henry Rollins [Black Flag, The Henry Rollins Band]

Again, the discovery of this beard was totally by accident. One day, whilst looking for a decidedly manly picture of Rollins so that I could create my own ‘What Would Rollins Do?’ shirt (as I am too poor to order one from Nothing Nice To Say), I found beard. Henry Rollins has gone through many hairstyles through his career in Black Flag, as can be discovered through this handy timeline, so facial hair is no exception.

Beard in action:

5) Max Bemis [Say Anything]

Okay, Max Bemis may not be the punkest man on this list, but he’s definitely a very original songwriter who can grab you by the balls with some of the coolest riffs ever. He also grows a very fine beard. Best implemented when he has a full head of hair.

Beard in action:

4) Derek Perry [Fake Problems]

Derek Perry has an awesome beard. There seems to be a connection with bassists and facial hair on this list (count at the end!). Much like our number three, this man has no fear of beard or in fact, manipulating beard. However, he is afraid of a giant turkey which hit his windshield. See below.

Beard in action:

3) Frank Turner

Frank Turner is not a man who is afraid of the way of the beard. In fact, he exploits his facial hair magnificently in this video. Frank has rocked many a beard, but none will ever be as great as the Fu Manchu shown in that video. Fantastic.

Beard in action:

2) Andrew Seward [Against Me!]

Andrew and our number one are in close competition for greatest beard in the world, let alone in punk rock. Seriously. This is some of the manliest facial hair ever. I’ll let the picture do the talking.

Beard in action:

1) Warren Oakes [Against Me!]

Is it any surprise, really? Warren is the only drummer I have known to look both like he’s straight out of Gainesville AND a pirate. If Against Me! ever became a pirate crew, Warren would just have to be captain. And gain some kind of piratey moniker. Perhaps Captain Awesomebeard.

Beard in action:

That’s it for our countdown of excellent punk rock facial hair. And incidentally, here’s that graph I was talking about:

I could have also taken into account how close to Gainesville, Florida someone is and how awesome their beard is, but I figured that this article had been loaded with pictures anyway. However, I can tell you that approximately 50% of the musicians in this list are based in Florida. Also, maths is for squares (literally).

I am notoriously bad at top tens, on account of I am fickle and find it hard to play favourites with things that interest me a lot. However, upon the awesome Ripper’s suggestion, here we go: my top 10 (pop?)-punk songs about teenage angst, because I’m sure everyone’s locked themselves away with a song on repeat because everything sucks.

#10 Dick Lips – Blink-182

Nothing to lose, a boy who went out when he finished all his chores

Classic Blink, possibly underrated, very awesome. One of Delonge’s finer moments on Dude Ranch.

#9 Tiny Voices – Boxcar Racer

Sixteen long years in, hale the bullshit in

Two scores racked up for Tom: Boxcar Racer’s album is something I can listen to over and over and over (and I have). This song documents the awkwardness and anger of a teenager’s growth into an adult, and how maybe it doesn’t get any easier.

#8 Basket Case – Green Day

Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

I heard this (consciously) for the first time when I was 14 years old and since then I have adored it; it was the first song I taught myself to play on guitar, and I would crank the volume on my amp right up and play it to myself every night. To me, this song is anthemic!

#7 Kids of the Black Hole – Adolescents

Our days of reckless fun are through

Bleak, angry, kick-ass punk rock from the legends that are the Adolescents, by name and nature. I heard this song on a Fat Wreck Chords podcast, remembered that I had their sel-ftitled album and fell in love with them all over again.

#6 Rise Above – Black Flag

We are tired of your abuse

You can’t have angst without even more 80s hardcore! Loud, angry music about oppression and misunderstanding sung by loud, angry, misunderstood Henry Rollins. Anger breeds empowerment in disillusioned youth, after all.

#5 Institutionalised – Suicidal Tendencies

I’m not crazy, I’m institutionalised

Who hasn’t ranted about their parents being too overprotective? More importantly, who doesn’t love Suicidal? (FYI, Senses Fail covered this and it’s actually pretty neat.)

#4 I’m Just A Kid – Simple Plan

I’m just a kid and life is a nightmare

Maybe it’s because I just got back from a Simple Plan show, maybe it’s because at heart I am often, disturbingly, 14 years old, maybe it’s just because this a gorgeous little pop song about growing up, but it gets my vote.

#3 Why Doesn’t Anybody Like Me? – No Use For A Name

Life is short, this chapter takes so long

Props to my girlfriend for reminding me of this. This was one of my favourite songs when I was 15 years old, it was the first NUFAN song I learned to play on guitar.

#2 Chemistry – Jawbreaker

Call me your names, make them stick; I laugh until I am sick

This only just makes the #2 spot; I would put it at #1 but it was already reserved for another song. It is no secret that I love Jawbreaker, and Blake’s high school lament is nothing short of beautiful.

#1 I’m Not Okay – My Chemical Romance

I’m not okay!

As if this needs any explanation… I’m not okay!

further listening
Prisoner Of Society – The Living End
All I Want – The Offspring
Depression – Black Flag
Hate Every Beautiful Day – Sugarcult
Needle In The Hay – Bad Astronaut [it’s an Elliott Smith cover and it’s amazing] Rescue Me – Zebrahead

further reading
I Hate Myself And Want To Die – Tom Reynolds
Indestructible – Cristy C. Road