So this is the new year (resolutions of 2009) by Nox

What is a new year’s resolution? Why do people seem to make such a fuss over it? Moreover, how come the only time we ever hear about these resolutions besides at New Year’s is when they’re broken?


A New Year’s resolution is a goal a person sets for themselves, something they want to improve or achieve in the year, after reflecting on the previous year and realizing their mistakes, priorities, or what they would like to better in their lives or themselves. Usually, there are the generic ones such as cure cancer, bring world peace, stop world hunger, etc., but here at Two Beats Off we’re not trying to win a beauty pageant. Therefore, here are our New Year’s Resolutions!


My New Year’s resolutions are always completely and utterly ridiculous. Some of the ones I achieved last year were getting a better haircut and completing a Final Fantasy game. This year, I might be a little more serious though. This year, I aim to make sure this zine keeps going one way or another, because well… TBO is kinda cool. There’s the usual ‘get fit’ one, because no matter what, I’m always unhappy with my appearance. There’s a special condition for it – being female. I want to make sure I get into a good university, so actually studying would be a good one, instead of relying on just sheer luck and talent. I want to finish a novel this year, considering I have about three half finished ones on the go. And, because I can’t not make a geeky one, learn how to play Dungeons and Dragons properly!


I always find it difficult making resolutions, but here goes. This year, I want to start doing things again. I feel like I put things off too much and waste a lot of my time. I want to make good use of it. I want to look back and feel like I’ve achieved things. I’m also going to try be less of a commitmentphobe, and stop pushing people away because I’m scared of where it might lead. I don’t want to be a coward. Finally, I want to get a job, go to uni, and I want to start a band. Here’s to ’09, baby.


I have a few things I would like to do this year. Mainly, I plan to let go of one particular hopeless cause I have been clinging to for too long. On a different level, I’m going to try to be less introverted. I think I’ll take more chances. I decided I play it too safe and honestly, it gets quite boring. This year I would like to see Chicago, New York, and Denver. Also, I plan to be less of a heart breaker. It’s bad karma you know? Seriously though, I will be more cautious around others. Finally, a quick run down of lesser things: read a lot of books from my list, sing louder, write more, keep my straight A streak, keep up with my friends better, and hopefully get a baby turtle named Ringo.


fightclubsandwich was unavailable to comment at the time, so we’ve decided that we’re going to give her some. Whether she likes them or not. So, we reckon that she’ll want to start or join a punk rock knitting circle and make jumpers filled with revolutionary stitching, be able to co-ordinate better with Ripper when they go to gigs, start a band and write some kick ass fiction.


I’m not an advocate of New Year’s resolutions. I’ve always held the belief that if you really want to change yourself, you’ll change it now, and in my experience, most people manage to keep their resolutions for about five minutes. However, it’s nice to feel like you have a clean slate and a new year for a ‘new you’… or at least a ‘slightly improved you’.

Now, I am an angry person, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Henry Rollins makes a living out of being an angry person. Anger is a good thing, it’s a healthy thing. Good things have come from being angry; revolutions have changed the world we live in!

The problem is, too many of us – myself included – don’t use this energy and passion constructively as often as we could. It’s far too easy to sit around and complain at length and volume about something we disagree with, but not use the opportunity to change or better ourselves or the world around us.

So that’s my New Year’s resolution – not to be a less angry person, but a better angry person!

But, we decided to get you involved this time, and we’ve had some pretty cool responses. So, here’s our readers’ New Year’s resolutions!

Richard’s resolution:

My resolution is not to make a resolution. That way I can break it immediately and not have to worry about it, while having a laugh at all resolutions’ expense.

Hab’s resolution:

To learn to control my drink. I think a few people can vouch for that!

Alice’s resolution:

To bag myself a surfer. It could happen, you know.

Ben’s resolution:

1) Quit masturbating (I failed this one on the 2nd January)

2) Get the girl, get the job, get the car

3) Get fit for summer.

Hannah’s resolution:

Find a rich man at university… or marry Fernando Torres!

Mike’s resolution:

To quit that nasty oxygen habit I have… no, really, I want to learn to be more
understanding of people this year.

Heather’s resolution:

I want to learn to dance, because I’m a big fan of Strictly Come Dancing and I think it would be sweet if I could pull off some of those moves. Also, quitting smoking would be good.

James’ resolution:

Read more books. It might be a smart idea, considering I want to go to Oxford University!

Megan’s resolution:

I want to find myself a wench. It’s been too long since I had a girlfriend!

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