Rant by Chuck Palahniuk (a review by fightclubsandwich)

Disclaimer: the pseudonym “Fight Club Sandwich” under which I write for this website is merely an expression of my love of stupid puns, not the work of this particular author. In fact, I’ve never read Fight Club, though I do have the film on DVD, and really strongly hated the only other work of Mr Palahniuk’s that I had ever read. Appearances can be deceiving.

If Chuck Palahniuk ever decides to start his own militia for whatever reason, he will have no trouble accomplishing this. Palahniuk fans are a strange breed. I’d hate to call them “rabid” – not only because it would be a really terrible pun in context, considering the subject matter of this book, but it would also be inaccurate and misleading. They are a devoted bunch, though, for sure, basking in the quirky and grotesque worlds that Palahniuk builds, seemingly by picking on the most disenfranchised, skewed or obsessive perspectives he can find, working out characters who think that way, and placing these characters at the eye of the tornadoes that are brewing up around them.

In Rant the misfits at the heart of the story are the “Party Crashers” – a subculture of nocturnal kids who crash their cars into one another on purpose. It’s a sort-of-biography of Buster “Rant” Casey, an individual who is heavily involved in the Party Crashing scene, told by those who knew him best, from after his death. This format is a really great choice, allowing Palahniuk to stay true to his very controlled, technical narrative style, to peel back elements of the real world and immerse us slowly into the one he has created, which grows further and further from reality as it goes, but at the same time, a lot of the story is left ambiguous, and for the reader to interpret however they want.

The story’s events are very strange, to the extent that some readers might be put off by the sheer leaps and swirls and crashes and other words with connotations of movement that the narrative takes. There’s a plague of rabies, very old, very valuable coins, potential time travel, it’s a very busy plot, but arranged in a way that is obviously designed in reflection of real life – a lot of strange stuff happens, often in random and unconnected ways, that’s just how it goes. But events and characters are linked to one another, and you’d never guess how. It gets eerie and is done very cleverly. If you like strange plot elements, you will like this book, Palahniuk manages to pass off a shocking amount of supermarket-tabloid-weirdness, on the strength of the way the story is told.

Weirdly, the world constructed within the book somehow comes off as completely believable. This is aided by characters who feel utterly real – one of the most satisfying feelings that accompany the finishing of a novel is the feeling that the characters are not fictional creations but people you’ve just met, and many of the figures in Rant feel this way. These include many of the titular character’s team of Party Crashers, and his mother Irene, and the fact that many of the strongest characters – the characters who get the strongest writing and ideas attributed to them, not necessarily the strongest personalities – are female is particularly refreshing. The women in this novel are not treated as “female characters”, as a defining trait, and it doesn’t feel as if Palahniuk has stopped and tried to force himself to consider “how women think” at any point. The believability of the characters is also important since many of the weirder elements of the story are introduced in their words. The character of Christopher “Shot” Dunyun introduces the reader to the concept of “boosting peaks” – a sort of virtual reality industry involving plus in the backs of many characters’ necks – in one of the strongest written chapters in the book.

There are of course exceptions to this, which is pretty inevitable considering the way the book is put together, there are so many characters and a good deal of them play very small roles and don’t get to say much. Galton Nye, for example, is a right wing Christian minister whose daughter rebels against her parents. His character is an entirely two dimensional straw man type, and feels like a bunch of the most negative, unpleasant traits propped up into a paper-thin excuse for a character. This is the complete opposite of Irene Casey, the mother of the titular character, who is written in a way that constantly evades falling into the pit of cliché, despite how easy it would be to turn her into a caricature of a red-neck-ish mother and wife who only bounces like a tennis ball between those two roles.

Conversely, the believability of the world Palahniuk has built may be one of the novel’s greatest strengths but also exposes a weakness – his attempts to reconnect his fiction with the real world can be problematic. The attempts at academic writing that crop up from time to time – due to the myriad “contributors” who write paragraphs in the novel – are, for the most part, just unbelievable, whether they’re too stylised or just over-simplified and clumsy. But the most grating part, for myself at least, is the way Palahnuik delivers his observations or speculations on humanity. I just have never been convinced by his philosophies, and perhaps this is a position that I’ve arrived at only because of outside sources twisting his words and adopting very crude and basic forms of nilhism that makes the interesting, complex versions boring. Or perhaps Palahniuk’s observations are just too simplistic to begin with.

This may just be a personal thing – when I read Haunted, the only other novel of his that I have read, I found the unrealism of the scenario grating – and it was a scenario that revolved around human nature and inner darkness. Rant has a far less believable plot in terms of the events that actually happen – or do they? – but the characters are much stronger than the earlier book. On the whole, Rant is a book that has strong enough foundations to be a really enjoyable read, and is satisfying enough as a whole for the few flaws to fade from your mind. It’s sufficiently strange to be off-putting to some, changing stylistically throughout, but the wacky events are handled solidly. Palahnuik has really proven himself imaginative enough to shame the likes of me, who might be only too willing to write him off as an unfavourite. That’s hard to do when one single book has the most vivid ADHD about its subject matter, there’s so much going on that this is a book it can’t hurt to try.

Almost there!

Hey guys!

Finally getting there with the uploading. It’s taking me a long time but I should have all the articles up there by the end of tomorrow and who knows, maybe even something new!

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xoxo – Ripper

The smartest punk rock frontmen

Believe it or not, a lot of punk frontmen are ridiculously clever, whether that’s due to their own wits or because they have a PhD in Geology. And because I can’t think of anything else to write about and it made a good topic of conversation between fightclubsandwich and I, let’s find out who are punk’s smartest dudes!

5) Glenn Danzig
Danzig is a pretty decent businessman, owning his own comic book publishing house, Verotik, and he also likes books. And reading them. And discussing them. While shirtless. This video’s bounced around the site many, many times, so instead, have Danzig reciting the first chapter of Paradise Lost:





So, Danzig’s well read. And being well read tends to make for interesting lyrics, as I’m sure you can tell if you’re an avid Danzig or Misfits listener. He also writes classical music, in the form of the Black Aria albums, which are fairly chilling and atmospheric. And badass. Did I mention badass?

4) Henry Rollins
Henry Rollins is a smart, smart guy. Not content with his spoken word bits on various Black Flag albums? Why not check out his books? Rollins is one of my favourite authors of all time. I can’t count the number of times I’ve read Black Coffee Blues, and it reveals something new every time. He also does stand up and is very, very funny. He’s that revered, that every time he did Download here, he was put on a Sunday morning as ‘an alternative to church’. I can get down with that.

3) Blake Schwarzenbach
Jawbreaker were pretty influential, yeah. But did you know that Blake has a degree in English and Creative Writing (which is made even more awesome because that’s the title of the degree that I am doing)? And… he is also a professor! I would kill to be in his class, if I’m being honest. My favourite comment on that page is “any man who can eat toast like that is a great professor.” His blog is also rad.

2) Milo Aukerman
‘The Descendents?’ you cry. ‘But, they were just some dumb pop-punk band!’. This may be true, but the band went on hiatus for a while in the 80s so that Milo could pursue his education, which eventually ended in a PhD in Biochemistry. That is pretty cool. When he came back, Descendents was still all coffee, girls and fishing though. However, there’s a sweet concept that runs through a lot of Descendents songs called the ‘ALL concept’, based on their fourth album. The quest for ‘ALL’ is the quest for endless self improvement… and well, that’s pretty posi.

1) Greg Graffin
Despite his status as punk’s number one political dude, Greg also has a PhD in zoology. And let’s face it, you gotta be smart for that shit. He writes books about politics. He’s producing a TV show called ‘Punk Professor’. He teaches. Is there anything this man can’t do?! Well… a decent solo album. But anyway, Greg rules.

Punk Loves Pop

I just don’t know what it is about punk rock and chart covers, but they fucking love them. Pretty much every punk band has covered some variety of popular song and generally, to good reception. I’m very unsure about how I feel on covers as a whole – the original is there for a reason and often, people don’t do a very good job (Gallows, Nervous Breakdown… don’t fucking do it any more. Ginger lead singer, you are not Keith Morris). However, there are some truly stellar ones out there and they kind of highlight what punk can be these days – fun, carefree and entertaining.

Those delicious ska beats
Ska bands seem to be the number one culprit for pop covers. I think it comes with the territory. Happy, fun, joyful; it’s everything that ska is. If you’re going to dance like a tool to the latest chart hit, why not skank to it? Most of the ska covers are wonderfully kitsch – classic German pop in the case of Goldfinger’s glorious rendition of 99 Red Balloons and an entire album’s worth of Grease hits from Less Than Jake’s ‘Greased’ release are perfect examples of this. Of course they’re songs you know, but they’re songs so ingrained into your social memory that to hear them again but reworked into a bunch of trombone and trumpety joy is refreshing, even exhilarating. They’re the sort of songs you wind down the sunroof for, the sort of songs you take down the park with your iPod speakers on full. More kids know the Reel Big Fish version of ‘Take On Me’ than the original A-Ha version these days. [spunge] did an whole album of popular chart songs and got Bowling For Soup to guest on ‘Centrefold’, making it even more dirty than it was back in the 80s. If you want the best, you head straight for the ska bands.

Punk goes… not even punk any more
If you’ve ever listened to the wave of late 90s-early 2000s American pop-punk, featuring favourites such as Sugarcult, New Found Glory, Saves The Day, then you’ll have heard a Punk Goes… compilation. The very title of these albums is a misnomer – none of the bands were ever punk in the first place. But they were fun. The first ‘Punk Goes Pop’ had the Yellowcard cover of ‘Everywhere’ by Michelle Branch, and that is the only Yellowcard song I have ever liked. ‘Punk Goes 80s’ had even more Rufio and ‘Punk Goes 90s’ started to branch out to what was really popular by sticking the quite frankly excellent cover of ‘Under The Bridge’ by Gym Class Heroes on it. All of these had a certain charm to them – they were the bands you knew and loved just messing around. But then everything changed. Fearless decided to release ‘Punk Goes Crunk’ in 2008. Who the fuck were all these people? Maybe I just got older but I only recognised about four bands on the list, and I hated All Time Low (in fact, I deleted their cover of Umbrella because it mentally scarred me so much with its mediocrity). However, I was hooked. I enjoy my hip-hop, and I most definitely enjoy my 90s hip-hop over the lot, so New Found Glory’s cover of ‘Tennessee’ by Arrested Development filled me with joy. Say Anything’s cover of ODB’s ‘Got Your Money’ had me in fits of laughter and well… some of the other ones were just kind of cool. I would never be caught dead listening to Forever The Sickest Kids otherwise, but I just can’t say no to their rocked up version of ‘Men In Black’. Another band with kids in the title did quite a good rendition of ‘Notorious Thugs’. It’s all good. Not quite as good as New Found Glory’s first ‘From Your Screen To Your Stereo’, but hey, nothing’s perfect.

All praise aside, I know I won’t be listening to ‘Punk Goes Classic Rock’. Listening to Pierce The Veil do ‘Don’t Fear (The Reaper)’ would be the equivalent of tearing out my heart, stamping on it and then taking a piss on it, just to be sure it knew its place.

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes only DO covers. A veritable supergroup of punk rock heroes, each album has a different theme. And they know exactly what they’re doing. And the costumes, oh my the costumes. There is a sea of mediocrity surrounding most punk covers and the Gimmes are surfing out of there on a tidal wave of sheer hilarity and awesome. The Gimmes certainly know how to do their mashups too, mixing various punk riffs and references into their standard covers. They cater well to their audience and look fantastic in Hawaiian shirts. The first Gimmes cover I ever heard was their version of ‘Science Fiction/Double Feature’ and I didn’t think it was sacrilege. I think that’s evidence enough to prove how awesome this band is. But if you want some more, they also recorded an album at a boy’s bar mitzvah and let him play drums on a song. Now, that’s cool.

I also thought it was them who covered ‘Enter Sandman’ when I was younger but it was the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, who are similarly awesome and are yet another ska band. Like I said, covers come with the territory.

What next?
I feel that our covers are safe in the hands of such veterans as the Gimmes and punk bands everywhere will indulge in a few gems live. The ‘Punk Goes…’ series should die fairly soon, as it needs putting out of its misery. But the golden era for this kind of thing was the early 2000s, and I don’t think we’ll ever be able to claim it back. Hell, it was the golden era for a lot of things, but maybe that’s because I’ve got a kind of hazy romanticism for the time when I first discovered punk rock. Either way, to get to the good stuff, you have to dig deep. And here are a few classics which you should probably check out, partly recommended to me by the fine people at Punksoc:

  • Screeching Weasel – I Can See Clearly
  • H-Blockx – Ring Of Fire
  • Kid With Man’s Head – Hotel California
  • New Found Glory – J’Y Suis Jamais Alle
  • AFI – My Michelle
  • Set Your Goals – Put Yo Hood Up

Thirteen Hours Of Hell – The Road To Reading 2009

6.45pm, 30/3/09

I am staring at my computer screen, eyes wide in anticipation. I’ve got butterflies in my stomach, the ambient I put on is not helping me to calm down and my mouse finger is just itching to click the refresh button. In fact, I do that several times on each site I have open. MSN is closed down; unnecessary distractions need to be gone. Facebook remains, purely for outside assistance. My sister is doing exactly the same in the other room. I have my mum’s credit card on standby, mobile phone at my side… just waiting. I am trying to be zen. It’s not working.

6.58pm, 30/3/09

In two minutes, tickets for Reading Festival will be released. I am ready for the bloodbath. I refresh my four ticket sites and the official page, waiting for the lineup and praying that Blink-182 and The Cure are somehow miraculously in there. I have everything I need except an open ticket site. I think.

6.59pm, 30/3/09

Ticketline.com has released tickets prematurely by one minute. I click and I click, but my connection keeps timing out. Too many fucking people trying this. In about 30 seconds, I find that Ticketline either a) isn’t offering weekend tickets or b) just can’t display them any more. Either way, I cut my losses. I’ve got three more shots.

7.00pm, 30/3/09

Lineup is released, and I am both excited and disappointed. No Blink, no Cure. However, there is Radiohead, AFI and Brand New, and the idea that AFI might be playing new songs from Crash Love makes me an excessively happy girl. Seetickets.com and Ticketmaster are now open for sale and I am clicking my ass off to get these tickets. I’m still feeling relatively okay, but my nerves are already starting to become frayed.

7.10pm, 30/3/09

I am through to the order form on Seetickets! I feel like how Ash Ketchum must have felt when he became a Pokemon master – triumphant, yet disbelieving. I enter in all the details, but there is a crisis; we don’t know the license plate for the campervan. I scream down at my father, the only logical choice, but he doesn’t know it either. He runs upstairs and finds the folder with the MOT certificate. I frantically type it in. My hands are shaking like mad. It’s in, and I click the ‘order tickets’ button…

…and then it times out. I scream out at the computer in anguish. This is not going well.

7.30pm, 30/3/09

Lastminute.com have sold out, and Ticketmaster is being sporadic in its release of tickets. At this point, my parents are trying as well, both on the phone and on the other computer. My boyfriend calls and has to listen to me ranting about my state of mind. I go on Facebook and growl in envy at the people who already have theirs. Lucky bastards. My sister reveals that the friends we’re meant to be meeting there got theirs in the first ten minutes. My blood starts to boil.

7.50pm, 30/3/09

Still no luck. I can’t even get onto the home page for Seetickets because there’s that much traffic. ninthandash texts me, revealing that she’s got hers for Leeds. I’m a bit jealous. At this point, I could cry. My sister tells me to give up. I reply, ‘never’.

8.15pm, 30/3/09

My friend Tom comments me, asking if I’ve got my tickets yet, because he has his. I reply no, sadly. I don’t believe what happens next. He gives me a link to the order form he had open for his. It’s completely legit. I almost cry with happiness. I book three tickets and a campervan permit successfully. I scream with joy. Life is good.

8.25pm, 30/3/09

After thanking Tom and collapsing with relief, my mum reminds me that we haven’t had the confirmation email. I’m fraught with worry again. Thanks, mum. I check the page we printed off after we successfully ordered. Five hours before a confirmation email could come through. Shit.

8.20am, 31/3/09
After lack of sleep through worrying about whether we actually did get the tickets or not, I turn my computer on and what do I find? A motherfucking confirmation email. I sit back and smirk. I’m going to Reading Festival this summer.