My Love/Hate Affair With Last.FM

I’ve been using Last.FM shamelessly to advertise my somewhat awesome music taste for years. I had an account back when it was called Audioscrobbler, and that account has thankfully since been completely wiped from existence and acknowledgement. But my latest account, I’ve had since 2006, and it’s worked out pretty well so far. However, Last.FM can also be a bit of a bitch, as many social networking sites can and will be. So, as I reach 20,000 plays, allow me to take you through my sometimes tentative relationship with Last.FM.

NB: None of these dates are entirely accurate because I have no idea when features appeared in Last.FM. It’s about as close as I remember, but seriously, I don’t know.

August 2006
I have bad music taste. Let’s start again! Let’s use a Misfits song name, like always, to show how cool and punk I am, and totally throw a spanner in the works by having a Michelangelo avatar (the Ninja Turtle, duh).

December 2006
Last.FM is just kind of there. It’s fun to look at, but the recommendations are awful. Hello, I already listen to Pencey Prep? I have no idea what neighbours are. They listen to lots of AFI like I do, but otherwise, I don’t get it. They’re not even next to me geographically, they’re all American and have better hair than me. I try talking to them but they don’t reply apart from ‘awesome taste!’. People on this site are not here for friends.

2007
It’s clear that Last.FM is just kind of boring. It scrobbles, there’s not that much there. I sometimes post in the shoutboxes for bands, shyly saying how much I like a certain song. Last.FM is much like any other music site – there’s a ton of assholes. I make a group for a forum I visit. We all go on there and bitch about how everyone else sucks and complain about the group charts. I am only slightly ashamed to admit that I contributed to Fall Out Boy being number one. I generally ignore the site for the time being, and instead, I just use it as a signature on a couple of forums I visit. Everyone applauds my underground taste. It’s elitist as hell to have a Last.FM signature and everyone knows it, but who cares? It’s hip, but it’s not that hip yet and you have to pay for most of the radio stuff. Paying for stuff is lame.

2008
One of my top 15 is Cute Is What We Aim For? Holy shit, what was I thinking? The Fueled By Ramen honeymoon is over now, I’m too old for this shit. Hooray, there’s a reset function, I am saved once again from having to display mediocrity. The community seems to be booming a bit more, so I join a few more groups. Someone invites me to one – exciting! I soon find that discussion in these groups is excessively limited and dies pretty soon. Shoutboxes are generally quite shit. Still really subscriber heavy, so signature fodder it remains.

2009
Last.FM suddenly gets interesting. The compatibility thing could be super awesome – note to self, must use this in order to hit on guys with good music taste. Radio is free! I find that recommendations actually work now – Andrew Jackson Jihad and Defiance, Ohio suddenly become part of my listening, and I pretty much just like everything on my recommendation station. I discover Last.FM scripts and the wonders of the OMI and feel validated; yes, I do have an open mind! Groups still suck. Shoutboxes still suck. Journals do not! Since I created TwoBeatsOff, Last.FM and the artist tag function in said journals has provided a wonderful opportunity for free advertising. Sweet. What does the future hold? More free advertising and an obsession in checking my average tracks per day. Oh, Last.FM.

Live: The Lawrence Arms – O2 Academy Birmingham 3, 27/3/10

Despite knowing about and liking this band for a relative while, I never caught them on any of their previous dates in the UK. Most likely because I was still on my Fueled By Ramen kick which we will never discuss in detail. However, as soon as I discovered that The Lawrence Arms would be winging their way back to dear old Blighty, I snapped up a couple of tickets and braved a horrendous two hour train journey in order to catch them.

Starting out were Birmingham regulars Kyoto Drive. Pop-punk to the max, with the Alex Gaskarth-esque singer to boot. All in all, not really my thing. Trying to engage the crowd just did not work for these guys, and this is a classic case of what happens when you book the wrong support band. It says a lot when the headline act can’t even remember their names, despite borrowing a guitar head off them. Their songs were far too saccharine for my liking, and although their set improved towards the end, I just couldn’t be doing with the singer’s false American accent. This is one of my main complaints in music these days – British singers who put on an American accent, even when they do it well, and Kyoto Drive’s singer was no exception. Grating as hell. I’ll admit they did put the effort in, even going around the crowd trying to flog their CDs. However, not personally recommended.

That said, Under Stars And Gutters, an Irish gruff punk band, were bloody fantastic. The thing with gruff punk as a genre is that you know you’ve pretty much heard it all before, but these guys did it so well. To be honest, it’s been a while since I was quite so taken with a support band, especially one I’ve never heard of before. The performance was fantastic, and lead singer Adam was utterly charming. Their songs, had I known them, would be awesome to sing along to, and I can see this band doing well. It’s catchy, it’s fun, it’s got a bit of an edge to it. Also, drummer Mark has a fucking amazing beard, and we all know what that means here at TBO. Good beard = good band. In fact, I’ve been listening to their songs on Myspace pretty much non stop since Saturday, so if you’re reading this, boys… any chance of telling me where I can purchase a CD?

And then The Lawrence Arms came on and just totally stormed the place. There’s one thing I absolutely adore about punk shows and that’s the amount of completely dedicated fans. Not that you don’t get that in other genres, but the sheer amount of people in one room that are singing along with every breath they have is a little less common. Perhaps it was more obvious in a room with less than two hundred people in it, but everyone was there for The Lawrence Arms and everyone was determined to have a good time. Which wasn’t hard, because The Lawrence Arms are just great live. Playing a ton of crowd favourites (in other words, every song – even stuff off Buttsweat And Tears was screamed back at them), they had us in the palm of their hands. Although, perhaps too much Oh! Calcutta, an album I’ve only picked up recently, and that’s more a personal complaint because I didn’t know the songs too well. However, there was a good mix across all their releases and everything sounded great. The simplicity of their songs works well live, sounding just as effective as on record. Brendan Kelly, perhaps one of my all time heroes, was as enigmatic as I’d expect, and the dick jokes came in plenty. Name me one other man that can mention blow jobs and Winston Churchill in the same breath and not get punched in the face. And that’s exactly the kind of atmosphere that was there – everyone was there to have fun. And they played On With The Show, so I walked away happy.

Review: The Lawrence Arms – Buttsweat and Tears EP


It’s been about three years since The Lawrence Arms released Oh! Calcutta, which was a fine, fine album. After chewing the fat at Punksoc, it was clear that yes, we missed The Larry Arms, and yes, new material was needed. Which is why it was awesome when they released their latest EP last week – Buttsweat and Tears, available as a 7inch or download. Apparently, the title Buttsweat and Tears comes from an EP they wanted to release ten years ago, and on the approach of their tenth anniversary as a band, it’s an appropriate title indeed.

I’ll just spell it out now – this EP is awesome. Honestly, I don’t have a bad thing to say about it. This will make this review somewhat uninteresting if you’re not already an established Lawrence Arms fan, or it will serve to make you love them too, whichever you prefer. Even though I’ve just spoilt everything, I’ll at least attempt to give a coherent evaluation of the EP in all its glory!

The EP itself is fairly reminiscent of later Larry Arms, which is fine, because that’s my favourite type. Opening track, Spit Shining Shit, sounds like it’d be perfectly at home on a The Falcon release, with that palm muted opening into full on punk rock melody. It’s everything you’ve come to expect from The Lawrence Arms and truly a great opening. Track number two, The Slowest Drink At the Saddest Bar on the Snowiest Day in the Greatest City (try requesting that at your next club night!), fills me with absolute jealousy – as both a guitarist and a writer, I wish I’d written this song. Possibly my favourite song this year, and vocals are by Chris, making it even better. Lyrically, this song is superb and on par with anything else they’ve ever released, as is the rest of the EP. In particular, Slowest Drink evokes some rad imagery and atmosphere, especially with the chorus. Again, total jealousy. Third track, Them Angels Been Talkin’, lulls you into thinking it’ll be slow, a la Greatest Story, but no! The intro melds wonderfully into a fast paced, fast talking explosion of a song with some sweet riffs. On the download EP, which I have (shut up, I want a vinyl player but I don’t have one), there’s an extra track, which is entirely necessary. Demons is typical Larry Arms fare, a song that tells a story, and makes the EP feel more rounded and complete. Without it, I think the EP wouldn’t be as good as it is, it’d feel a bit empty. So if you do buy the vinyl, download this one song off iTunes. Final closing song, The Redness In The West is a slow affair with a country feel that keeps on building up and up until it all crashes together in a glorious mess of guitar, and Chris does his best gruff vocals to fit with it. Truly epic stuff.

I suppose I do have something slightly negative to say – it’s more of the same, but that’s not exactly a bad thing. The Lawrence Arms have been consistently good throughout their career and this EP reaffirms that well. Hopefully, it’s only a matter of time until a full album is released!

5 out of 5 high fives!

Kraken by China Mieville (a review by Charlotte)

From the very first instant of encounter, from just its purple, tentacular beauty, Kraken is an intense experience. I fancy it would stand out even in the Vatican Library, the Library of Alexandria, and probably also the library of Lord Dream of the Endless. Find it, glowing, between the Necronomicon and the Gospel of Jesus. More concisely, it’s pretty. Pretty pretty pretty. Cold shower pretty.

The curtains rise with the spotlight on Billy Harrow, curator and specimen preserver extraordinaire, roped in to give a tour, the centrepiece of which is a magnificent Architeuthis, a giant squid. It is a remarkable specimen, most especially, as Billy, having worked on the process, knows, for its virtually flawless preservation. It also happens, contrary to all logic and laws of nature, to have utterly vanished.

For a chapter you get the sense of being in the middle of nothing more peculiar than a mystery thriller that is perhaps a shade eerier than it has any right to be, but before you start feeling secure, Kraken explodes out around our intrepid hero and starts to get seriously, well, weird. In short order, we meet a cast of thousands, ranging from supernatural crimelords, their hired brains and their hired brawn, to the Met’s supernatural squad, to a Marxist shabti who traded toiling for some forgotten pharaoh in the Field of Reeds for organising a union strike of magical assistants. Those that aren’t after the Architeuthis (and by extension, Billy) for whatever nefarious reason are nonetheless dragged into the squiddy fray.

The impossible squid/no squid is just the first of the breakneck inversions that riddle the plot and are played out by a cast of characters as myriad and varied as that of the real London. Inevitably, this means you’ll occasionally feel your favourite ideas and characters won’t have the playing time you would have liked. Above all, Officer Collingswood needs her own book. It could consist purely of her hurling ever more inventive profanities at the reader and I would still sell my brother to pay for it.

Another aspect of this is that the ending comes as something of an anticlimax, with all the grand plans failing and a simpler, barely foreshadowed course of action saving the day. While I was perverse enough to enjoy what happened, there was a definite blink-and-you-miss-it quality to proceedings. Really, though, I doubt anyone who gets within the last quarter of Kraken will still be reading for the conclusion – the journey there is too interesting. And more apocalypses need to be averted through wordplay and logical argument, if only to screw with the Hollywood special effects departments.

Plot and characterisation and all that shit aside, my favourite thing about Kraken is that China Miéville is the biggest fanboy of all time. The very words bubble with superhuman enthusiasm, in their Latinate polysyllabicism, their Hellenic technicality, their Anglo-Saxon bluntness that comes both as gallows humour and a punch to the guts. In practice, those who go into raptures over the man’s vocabulary are matched by those who just wish he’d get to the bloody point, but damn it’s a vocabulary.

The core of the novel is a spirit of I Think This Is Cool, Let Me Show You which is infectious and endearing. And, William Hope Hodgson’s ‘The Hog’ turned on its head (Cutest. Demonpig. Ever.) and run through I Can Haz Cheezburger? Literature has been working towards that moment since the Epic of Gilgamesh.

In conclusion, I can only advise most strongly that if you read only one New Weird- apocalyptic-detective-weird -political-thriller-mystery novel this year, you should make it Kraken. Or at least tell me which other one you find.

On The Road by fightclubsandwich

There is an odd smell about the gallery section of the Barber Institute Of Art, kind of like chocolate that’s been half melted and the mixed with wax. I have no idea what the actual source of the smell is, though. The gallery part is up a curved staircase, and the curved staircase is at the end of a very fancy corridor which has very high ceilings and very tall doors, but is not in anyway intimidating. The whole place is very marble and shiny, and there are lots of leaflets about future events to be taken, all over the place, and when I leave later, back down this same marble corridor, there’s very live, very fancy piano music coming from behind one of the very tall doors. This music may also have been playing when I entered the building, but I was listening to Jawbreaker, which drowned it out. I obviously chose Jawbreaker in order to “psych myself up” about what I was going to see, but when I started to ascend the stairs, the sound of jazz wafted down my way, and I decided that this maybe set the scene a little better than Shield Your Eyes. (I don’t have Boxcar on my iPod, though it would clearly have been the obvious choice)

The actual display itself was kind of lean and modest. The room was very small, and the walls were all white, and there weren’t nearly as many people there as I had expected. I think I might just be a huge geek, really, and my geekiness caused me to over estimate the appeal that this artefact had to the majority of students on campus. I won’t go on the first day it opens, I had thought to myself, there’ll be so much crowding, so many queues! I went to see it on the second day and saw something like five other people there. Admittedly, it was lunch time.

There were three very long, narrow glass cases in the middle of the room. The centre one obviously held On The Road itself, the ones on either side of it held supplementary materials, like various editions of the book, both British and American; articles about it, when it was first published, and copies of Kerouac’s other works, including one that was signed. That, more than anything else – for some reason – made me sad about Kerouac’s death at the age of just forty seven. Not only is that far too young an age to have died, it’s frustrating to think that he was never even alive in my lifetime. It was very odd considering just how many of my favourite authors are long dead (that’d be most of them) but thinking about it that way only really gets me at random moments, it stabs me like a needle and really bothers me. I had such a moment there, at the Kerouac display.

So, the actual scroll? Every single aspect of it is impressive. My eyes got caught on lines I remember reading in the book, “in their eyes I would be strange and ragged like the Prophet who has walked across the land to bring the dark Word” being one of my favourite parts, that I was hoping I’d see, but never really thought I would be able to pick out, when I saw it for real, but I did pick it out, and it felt terrific. The whole thing is very long, and there’s this aged amber tape holding the reams of paper together. It just reminds you how old, how historical this is, this is an artefact. There are crossings out too, in his own hand, in pencil. Not all of his handwriting is totally readable, but you can see how he changed it so that Sal lived with his aunt and not his mother- the word mother is crossed out a lot, and replaced with aunt. In reference to what I was saying earlier about picking out memorable lines, you’d think that the opening line – one of the most memorable in most novels – would be one of the easiest to find, and to remember it and make the connection between the Penguin Classic you have in your bag and the piece of history looming before you. But the opening line is utterly different, because of course, he changed Neal Cassady’s name to Dean Moriarty to make it less autobiographical, and changed the death of his father to the divorce of his first wife for reasons that can be explained either politically or sociologically.

On The Road is really remarkable for the way it was written – over the course of three weeks, under the influence of lots of coffee (hell yes) and based upon real, autobiographical stuff that Kerouac got up to. As strange, – but at the same time obvious – as it is to think that the computer’s take over of the typewriter as the most convenient way to write in the twenty-first century means an end to such artifacts as these, we have to remember that On The Road is in no way typical in its form, it really is special. As a landmark literary artefact, the scroll follows the original, handwritten versions of the likes of the Bronte sisters, or Dickens, and to go back even further, the extraordinary elaborate illuminated manuscripts of the Middle Ages. Now that we’ve chosen new mediums to write in that save our words as pure information and memory, (like this column you’re reading right now, oh wow!) and have all but discarded traditional, physical forms, I think it’s really exciting to think about what artefacts we’re going to be treasuring – years from now – as physical connections to the writers of today. Will we start keeping tiny things, like J.K. Rowling’s hair slides, or Audrey Niffenegger’s socks? I can’t help thinking about how monks kept bits of the body parts of saints after they died, as relics. What if you went to a library and they said “oh yeah, we’ve got Will Self’s hand in a glass case, wanna see?”

The cases in the exhibit were quite low down, which frustrated me. I’m something like five foot five, and they were about hip level, so I had to crane my neck downwards to read the scroll, not to mention that because of the very long, narrow, rectangle shape of the cases, you have to stand beside the thing at a right-angle to the words, so you have to turn your neck a lot to read it. This makes it a very awkward and uncomfortable thing to look at, and it starts to hurt a fair bit to pore over for too long. Luckily, the exhibit is completely free, and so close to my house, and the places I go every day, that I can go back whenever I want.

If you are anywhere near the Birmingham area, I compel you to go. Really. GO. You will not regret it. There is a train station on the campus itself, (the uncreatively named “University Station”) which is only five minutes walk (ten, maybe if you’re really slow) from the Barber Institute. If you’re remotely interested in Kerouac’s work – or books and literature at all – it’s a really remarkable thing. You will be impressed. You will be inspired. You might have an orgasm. If you miss out on a chance to see something so amazing, you will just be miserable.