Clash Of The Titans

Last night, I decided to go along with my friends and check out Clash Of The Titans, in 3D no less. So, with 3D glasses in hand and ketchup all in my hair (it was an eventful dinner at Nando’s beforehand), we trouped off in search of adventure and to watch Sam Worthington (Avatar, Terminator Salvation) kill absolutely everything ever.

I must admit to have never seeing the original Clash Of The Titans in its entirety, as it’s always one of those ones that ends up on the TV in holiday periods when I’m drifting in and out of the living room, and therefore can’t judge if the movie can indeed live up to its predecessor. However, in regards to monsters, I share Chad Gilbert’s opinion, as viewed on his Twitter the other day – “I will see any movie with a Krakken in it, but I wont like every movie with a Krakken in it.” Truth is, I’ll watch any movie with mythical beasties in it, but I won’t necessarily like them. Case in point: the second Pirates of the Caribbean film. Therefore, I was holding out some hope for this movie and hoping that Mr Worthington would look fantastic in a leather skirt. Otherwise, it just wouldn’t be worth it.

The story is your typical Greek myth affair – man decides to rise up against the gods because they’re fed up of their rule, gods decide to fight back, man sends in a hero – who’s a demigod! Surprise surprise! This is essentially thrown at you as soon as the movie starts with little explanation until Io (Gemma Arterton; Quantum of Solace, Prince of Persia) decides to ever so helpfully and conveniently tell our hero Perseus that yes, he is indeed the son of Zeus – and oh, Hades wants to take over everything. If you’ve ever read anything to do with Greek mythology, you’ve heard it all before, and Clash Of The Titans is pretty much an excuse to shove anything to do with Greek mythology into one film and to have Perseus destroy it in style. And to have Liam Neeson play Zeus because he was made for that beard. Nobody else could pull off that beard.

The film is reasonably well casted and a good call for Worthington to keep his Australian accent, even if he did go a bit too into the Christian Bale end on the Scale of Gravelliness. I’m not entirely sure what makes people think that mythology calls for accents that aren’t American, but I’m glad that faculty exists, because it just makes it seem that little bit more authentic, somehow. That, and that British/Australian accents are far cooler. There’s plenty of action, as would be expected from Hollywood’s latest take on mythology, because if there’s anything we’ve learnt from recent years, it’s that swords + leather + monsters + pretty ladies = instant blockbuster. So, there’s plenty of hacking, men in leather skirts all over the place, every monster you could ever think of and a reasonable amount of eye candy (but no sex! This is a 12A after all!) to get excited over. And if you’re not looking for a particularly intellectual film, then this is the way to go.

The 3D is excessively lacking. To be honest, I wouldn’t bother paying the extra money to see it in 3D unless you like great 3D adverts, because all there happens to be is a spear that comes out and the text looks nice and shiny and standouty. That’s all. The monster effects are all 2D anyway and those in fact do look fantastic . They’re also possibly some of the more realistic I’ve seen in a while, despite being creatures of myth. In particular, Charon just looks incredibly twisted and the journey across the Styx is a sight to behold. The only one that looks at all computer generated is Medusa – even the Krakken itself looks reasonably realistic. And if I don’t get to ride a Pegasus soon… well, let’s just say I won’t be happy.

Overall, Clash Of The Titans is a fast paced, no holds barred action fest. There’s death and destruction pretty much everywhere. At the start of the film, this is well done, but towards the end, it starts to feel rather rushed – the ‘end game’ as it were lasts for about two minutes and you feel somewhat cheated. However, that doesn’t detract too much from it being a very entertaining way to spend a couple of hours. Oh, and the staring at the legs of attractive men is pretty sweet too. Sorted.

3 out of 5 high fives!