Panic! At The Breakup – TBO’s predictions

So, it’s official. Panic! at the Disco are no more the happy little foursome they once were as Ryan Ross and Jon Walker step away to create their own project, leaving Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith to soldier on, breaking the hearts and spirits of a thousand fangirls as they go. Without sounding too cynical, this is probably the best news I’ve heard all week, if only for the sheer hilarity of it all. The possibilities of new incarnations! The pained screams of fangirls worldwide! The furious internet blogging! Me and ninthandash had a pretty good time hypothesising how everything would all work out last night, and I’m going to share those thoughts with you all. If any of this actually becomes real, I’ll be shocked and amazed. And also pretty damn awesome for predicting this shit. I also apologise for the bad Photoshopping.

Team Ryjon

First up, we’ll go with the deserters, as it were. The truth is, Ryan and Jon will probably go up to the mountains, smoke some weed, collapse on the floor giggling and write songs about it. But, if we had to choose some other likely options, we’d go for these:

Dolly Parton, anyone?

Yes, Pretty.Odd was one step away from the Beatles, and the logical conclusion would be to move towards country and western. Perhaps. Anyway, Ryan and Jon already have the plaid shirts, so rocking the banjo and jug shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Not to mention, you get to drink cider in country and western. CIDER.

Electronica is in vogue again, after all…

At least in the UK, electropop is back in a big way. Of course, this was the stuff early Panic! was made of, so it’ll come naturally to Ryan at least. Plus, you KNOW they could pull off the fashion. And the serious faces. And the makeup. Actually, this would be my preferred Ryjon band.

Or, you know, pretentious hipsters…

After all, this is Ryan Ross we’re talking about. The pretentious hipster band, with the pretty guitars and the tight jeans and the lyrics which nobody understands. It seems a bit out there for Jon, who seems a little more down to earth with his music, but whatever, he can go with the flow. See vague Myspace pics also with this one. (NB: this is the real one, Hillside Session. I was thoroughly disappointed when I found out, I was expecting something much more exciting. They sound quite good though.)

Team Brencer
Good news about this combo – the exclamation mark is coming back. To be honest, I’d missed it, and it just shows that they could be planning on going back to the original Panic! style, which was actually, y’know, good. But, if they were going to do it any other way, this is what we think might happen.

Cabaret, darling!

Panic! toured with the Dresden Dolls, and now that it’s just Brendon and Spencer, there’s the perfect opportunity for some cabaret style piano. The makeup, the dazzling outfits, the outrageous stage antics! That’s exactly what I want to see from Panic! At The Disco.

Epic, maaaaan…

Spencer has a pretty serious beard going on right now. Beardy drummers usually means either a) awesome Gainesville punk or b) stoner rock/metal. And I’m guessing the latter, due to the bandana wearing as well. The only thing preventing this is Brendon’s love of sweets, which leads us to our next idea…

Screw the band, let’s open a candy factory!

Ever since the top hat in the first video, and then the candy land in Nine In The Afternoon, it has been my dream for Panic! At The Disco to own their own candy factory. Brendon Urie would make the perfect, less creepy Willy Wonka and well… Spencer’s too tall to be an Oompa-Loompa so I have no idea what he’d do. Test shit or something. Om nom nom.

So there you have it, our ideas for the future of Panic! At The Disco and related projects. To be honest, Panic! had come to their natural conclusion and it’s great to see a band end amicably as opposed to having an all out war against each other. Now, we just need to wait and see who has the better project.

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